(Third film. After “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for”)
Hades: whatever’s troubling you. We’ll figure it out
Persey: how? How are the hell am I gonna convince you and Hadie to leave Auradon with me, go to Olympus and overthrow the rest of the Pantheon?
Hadie: what?
Persey: oh now he turns up. Look. Last month. After we exorcised Chad. Mother told me she was planning to launch a much needed coup against Zeus and the Pantheon one day. And that day
Hades: is today
Hadie: no. Nah ah. Nope. No way. No how. Nyet. Nada. Non. Óchi. I can go on if you want
Persey: I don’t like it anymore than you but mother needs our help.
Hadie: Mal needs our help
Persey: and helping mother will be helping Mal
Hades: I can’t abandon them. Not again
Persey: you won’t be. We’re going back home to run a rather bloody errand. Then we’ll be back. But we need to go now
(They’re father and brother still look unsure)
Persey (sighing heavily): look
(This is when “from now on” happens. After the song. The next morning. Uma’s sitting on a pew in Auradon Cathedral when Carlos walks in)
Uma: oh um uh I’ll get out of the way. Sorry. I’ll just. I’ll just go
Carlos: siddown cuz. I’m not here to fight you
Uma: oh thank Christ. Why?
Carlos: you impressed me. Last month you’d have kicked the crotch of anyone who dared suggest Harry get locked away. You’ve done good. Be proud of yourself Captain Facillier. You’ve done good
Uma: oh. Thanks. I guess.
Carlos: so what brings you here today then?
Uma: I dunno. I like it here. It’s calm. Peaceful. Reminds me of the sea
Carlos: I like it here too-wait-have you actually been in the water since the coup?
(Uma looks shifty and doesn’t answer)
Carlos: oh my god. You haven’t. You need to tell dad. Like. Now. He wants you to lead the armada. You know that right?
Uma: of course I know that Carlos. Of course I know. I just. Have to work up the nerve that’s all. Why do you think I’m here? I’m psyching myself up for it.
Carlos: okay. I get that
Uma: do you? Do you really?
Carlos: yes
Uma: that’s just the thing. I don’t think you do. Not really
(This is when “I will get there” happens. After the song. Uma holds her head in her hands)
Uma: so. What should I do?
Carlos: honestly? Break yourself off from what’s holding you back
Uma: and what would that be?
Carlos: well. There’s three of them. They’re psychologically unsound. They have grating voices. And they’re chained up the dungeon
Uma: hah. Of course
Carlos: confront them. Cut em loose. Do what you gotta do
Uma: thanks Carlos.
Carlos: you’re welcome. Uma.
(Uma teleports out of the cathedral and into the dungeon)
Cj: oh. The vaunted knight comes down from on high to mingle with the common folk she helped incarcerate. Tell me. Are you enjoying your epaulets?
Uma: the what?
Cj: the uh. The uh the shoulder things
Uma: oh. Yeah. I like em
Cj: why are you here captain?
Uma: I felt you three were owed an explanation. I won’t be coming down here anymore.
Harry: WHAT?!?!
Uma: I’m putting you in the care Mr Smee.
Harriet: he’s here? Now?
Uma: mhmm. Got here yesterday. He’s in charge of you now. I’m done with you. All. Of you. Goodbye.
(She turns to leave)
Cj: you know. You can play and pretend however the fuck you like. But you’re still one of us. You’re still a pirate. You’re still her daughter. Not a knight. Not a bodyguard. A vk. You understand that right?
(Uma doesn’t bother with a response and teleports out of the dungeon. This is when “shine” happens. After the song. Verna’s inside her rooms pacing back and forth and going ever so slightly stir crazy when Jane walks in to ask her something)
Verna: oh Jane. Thank goodness. I-
Jane: we need the wand.
Verna: pardon?
Jane: Mal, Jay, Evie and Carlos are creating a barrier around Auradon and the isle to keep the villains in during the fight. But we need the wand to maximise its strength
Verna: no.
Jane: I knew you’d say that
Verna: I can’t. I’ve been stripped of all my power. Please don’t ask me to give up the wand. Not after I’ve got it back
Jane: oh here we go
Verna: look at me sweetheart
(This is when “dance with the devil” happens. After the song. Almost everyone is in Ben’s office, discussing the Verna situation)
Evie: she’s gone? What do you mean she’s gone?
Jane: she ran to her shitty sky blue Lexus. Got in. And drove away. The queen mother was there. She’ll vouch for it
Belle: it’s true I tried to stop her. I really tried to stop her.
Ben: I believe you mom.
Gil: so what do you do now?
Ben: Jane
Jane: no. No. Absolutely not
Ben: please. We need you
Jane: I’m not her.
Ben: I know. You’re better. And I fully beli-hold on-come in Mrs Baker. Is there anything I can help you with?
Anastasia: yes. Do you know Anthony is? Only I can’t find him
Ben: yes. He’s pacing the pick up zone.
Mal: Anthony’s not fighting? Huh. Can’t say I blame him.
Ben: he’d like to. He just feels like he can’t
Anastasia: yeah. That makes sense. He can debone a lion in two minutes flat. But he’s not much of a fighter.
Gil: by the way. I’ve always loved your hyena mignon. It’s absolutely brilliant
Anastasia: thank you Gil. And thank you your highness.
Ben: your welcome.
(Anastasia leaves)
Ben: now about the wand
Mal: I can teach her. We’ve both used it before. It’ll be okay
Ben: I know it will be. But. I was thinking more along the lines of issuing a new ordinance
Doug: oh?
Ben: I have no problem with people not fighting. It’s an ugly business. It always has been. So long as you tell me. But Verna. She committed desertion. She, committed treason.
Jay: ooooh. Now we’re getting somewhere
Carlos: what are you saying dad?
Ben: what I’m saying is. Everyone in this castle, barring the dungeons, is in my inner circle. And I hereby grant you all the political power to arrest Verna Babineaux in sight pending trial. Doug. Please write that all down. Make it official as it were
Doug: on it
Facillier: trial? Surely an on the spot death would be better?
Ben: I refuse to treat people like my father treated you. I want to be better than that. I have to be better than that. Otherwise what’s the point in fighting them?
Favillier (conjuring up a wine glass and raising it in honour of Ben): well when you put it like that. pour votre santé, your highness, pour votre santé.
(On the isle. Audreficent is examining themself in the mirror)
Ursula: will it do?
Audreficent: the body, yes, it is, cozy. The attire, however, must be changed. Make them really run for the hills.
(This is when “haunted heart” happens. After the song. Audreficent is still gazing into the mirror)
Audreficent: mhmm. Yes. I think that will do quite nicely. Now. Ideas. We need ideas.
(Queen of Hearts dashes to the front)
Audreficent: alright. Fine. Your idea. Go.
(This is when “off with their heads” happens. After the song. Audreficent looks heavily unimpressed)
Audreficent: are you quite finished?
(The queen of hearts shrinks back into the background)
Audreficent: well done. Now where were we? Oh yes
(She forces everyone to look at her. This is when “in the dark of the night” happens. After the song. Back in Auradon. At the enchanted lake. Ben’s taken Mal on a “hopefully not a final” date)
Mal: if there’s one thing to be said about you it’s that you’re always impressive
Ben (smugly): eh. I try
Mal (sighing): is it bad that I’m kind of looking forward to it?
Ben: no. One way or another. Everyone wants to get rid of the horrible people in their lives
Mal: good. Good. Then why do I still feel shitty?
Ben: because you’re a good person?
Mal: only you, Carlos, Jay, Gil, Hadie, Persey and my father think that.
Ben: is that a problem?
Mal: nah. Just pointing it out
(They both break into laughter)
Ben: okay. Okay. Up, up, up.
Mal: oh?
Ben: dancing time
Mal: we’re at the lake. And the picnic spot isn’t big enough
Ben: true. True. But have you considered. That my hands. Have magical magic?
Mal: I know. I’ve personally benefited from your hands and their magical magic. As recently as two hours ago in fact.
Ben: this is also true. But not what I meant. I meant. Actual.
Mal: ohhhh.
Ben: and it’s all because of you
Mal: oh really?
Ben: oh yeah
(This is when “a sky full of stars” happens. After the song. Ben unfreezes the lake and they teleport back to the castle. At which point it starts to rain)
Mal: we’re gonna get this a lot now aren’t we?
Ben: probably. But we can make it work
(Doug walks out from his garage workshop)
Doug: you always do. Now come inside you catch your death
Mal: we’re immortal
Doug: yeah, so am I. But that doesn’t mean you’re immune to colds. Or have you forgotten the week after cotillion already?
Mal: excellent point. Let’s go
(Once inside the garage)
Ben: so whatcha working on?
Doug: getaway cars.
Ben: in case we need to fall back and regroup?
Doug: yep
Mal: hm. Makes sense to me. Evie chose the colour for this one didn’t she?
Doug: yep
Mal: course she did.
Ben: what number is this?
Doug: eight. Trying to get it up to ten minimum
Mal: sounds reasonable
Doug: the only thing is I can’t test it right now because of the rain.
Ben: Aw c’mon. The rains not that bad.
Doug: once again I point you towards the week after cotillion
Ben: yeah, but that was just bad luck
Doug: he’s very optimistic isn’t he?
Mal: yeah but that’s why we love him.
Doug: true. True
(Evie teleports in with a picnic basket)
Evie: alright I’ve got your lunch and your raincoat. And I swear I’m moving to Tenerife if these surprise storms keep happening
Mal: Ben likes the rain
Evie: of course Ben likes the rain. He’s French. You both are.
Mal: apparently I’m technically Persian. But we’re both half Greek
Evie: don’t remind me
(Jay and Carlos teleport in)
Carlos: we heard a picnic basket
Evie: how?
Jay (taking a sandwich before Evie can swat his hand away): we know your schedule. Plus we were hungry.
Mal: naturally
Carlos: so. What’re we talking about?
Ben: rain
Doug: cars
Mal: how best to piss off Evie
Carlos: ooooh. I know how to do that. Let Dude in her workshop when he’s shedding
Mal: ooh. Point to Carlos. Jay?
Jay: my way would piss Ben off as well. So it’s not worth mentioning when he’s around
Carlos (chuckling happily): oh yeah that’ll do it.
Mal (deciding to change the subject): okay so rain. Ben? What do you like about it?
Ben: you can dance in it.
Doug: 🎶cotillion🎶
Ben: alright yes. But before that we had fun didn’t we?
Doug: yeah it was kinda fun
Carlos: wanna recreate it?
Ben: go for it
(Carlos turns on the radio)
Ben: WHOOHOO!!!!
Doug: bono? Really?
Ben: 🎶please?🎶
(He unleashes the tried, tested and true puppy eyes)
Doug (for once buckling under the friendly onslaught): okay. Okay, fine. Let ‘er rip
Ben: YAAAAY!!!!
(This is when “children of the revolution” happens. After the song. That evening. Ben knocks on Uma’s door)
Ben: can I come in?
Uma: s’your house
Ben: are you okay?
Uma: yeah. Yeah. Mhmm. I am. Why?
Ben: your canopy’s in tatters
Uma: what?
Ben: they uh the curtains around your bed
Uma: oh yeah. That. Ummmm. Trident practice
Ben (knowing she’s lying but not wanting to push): Kay. You should get some sleep.
Uma: will do. Night your maj.
Ben: night. Sleep well.
Uma: I’ll do my best
(Ben leaves and Uma gets into bed. Four hours later. Mal’s reading in the library when an extremely spooked Uma teleports in)
Mal: hey?
Uma: are they. Are they alive? Did you kill them? Are they still alive?
Mal: who?!?! Who am I supposed to have killed?!?!
Uma: Harry and his other sisters!
Mal: ohhhh. Okay. Yeah. That does sound like me
Uma: so you haven’t?
Mal: no. I don’t think so. Why?
Uma: I uh. Dream.
Mal: ohhhh. I understand. C’mon. Sit down. Cocoa?
Uma: no thanks.
Mal (shrugging): your loss. Now. What are you afraid of? What was in your nightmare?
Uma: uhhhh. We were in the throne room. The Hook’s were in shackles. Ben gave the order. You gave me the axe. And I sliced their heads off.
Mal: sounds fun
(Uma glares at her)
Mal: sorry. Ahem. Sorry
Uma: what do you think it means?
Mal: I don’t know. I’m sorry. But I’m not therapist. I can barely understand my own nightmares. Let alone anyone else’s.
Uma: right. Thanks anyway though.
Mal: you’re welcome.
(Uma gets up to leave but Mal stops her)
Mal: oh by the way. Don’t worry about your room. Ben talked it over with Mrs Potts and her staff. Just say the word and they’ll be happy to clean up for you
Uma: Ben had no right to tell you that
Mal (chuckling humourlessly): he’s the king. He’s your boss. He’s your friend. He’s part of your family. So yeah. I’d say he has the right.
Uma: no he doesn’t. And neither do you.
Mal: well I’m his fiancé. He tells me things. And while he’s too nice to broach the subject. I’m not. You’re seeing your mother aren’t you?
Uma: how did you know?
Mal: because I’ve been where you are before.
Uma: what did you do about it?
Mal: try to get you to kill me.
Uma: oh.
Mal: just uh. Don’t do the other thing I did when I felt out of place
Uma: which is?
Mal (smiling wryly): not telling you
Uma (brainstorming her memory): right. Sorry.
Mal: here
(She summons then hands Uma a large leather bound book)
Uma: what’s this?
Mal: a book about dream interpretation.
Uma: meaning?
Mal: I may not be a therapist. But I’ve had enough crazy shit happen to me to know that books like this are a godsend
(Uma starts reading. Then stops when she gets to the pertinent page)
Mal: what is it?
Uma: it uh. It says that dreams like the one I just had tend to mean cutting ties with your past. But then that means I can’t be a sea witch any more
Mal: beg pardon?
Uma: alright fine. The reason my rooms a mess is because Cj struck a nerve and now I’m seeing my mother in my reflections.
Mal: oh. Kay....
Uma: you think I’m nuts now don’t you?
Mal: no. It’s better than what I did when I lost it
Uma: oh yeah. The journalists
Mal: so cutting ties huh?
Uma: but if I’m not a sea witch then I’m nothing
Mal: that’s not strictly true though. Is it?
Uma: hm?
Mal: well. Captain Facillier. You tell me?
Uma: oh. I didn’t think of that
Mal: well now you are. I mean you don’t have to. Look at me. I changed everything about me and I wound up killing like 12 people.
Uma: 20. I kept count with the reports
Mal: thanks cousin(.) Thank you for the help(.)
Uma: your welcome.
Mal: you know. It might not be Ursula that’s holding you back.
Uma: how so?
Mal: before we get into that. Ned asked about you earlier
Uma (unconsciously grinning from ear to ear): Ned Thatch? Really?
Mal: yeah. It was right around the time you went down to the dungeons and cut Harry off
Uma (grin disappearing completely): oh
Mal: interesting. Very, very interesting.
Uma: oh what now?
Mal: when I mentioned Ned you smiled for the first time in weeks. But when I mentioned the maggot. It disappeared
Uma: ah.
Mal (sighing heavily): if you really want my advice. Then it seems like your problem is two fold.
Uma: I’m listening.
Mal: first of all. If you’re seeing Ursula in mirrors and windows. Then it might be time to cut her off and consider taking after Antonine.
Uma: okay....
Mal: second of all. Tell Ned you like him. The worst he can do is turn you down. But then your head might be clearer.
Uma: right.
Mal: it’s not up to me. But whatever you do. Get some sleep. You look like death.
Uma: right. Sleep.
Mal: take some cocoa. It helps.
Uma: your not asleep.
Mal: I have insomnia. I do sleep. But really only when Ben’s next to me. Or when I’m knocked out
Uma (chuckling humourlessly): huh. Right.
Mal: but remember. Sleep. You need it. And we all need you.
Uma: right. Thanks for the talk
Mal: we’re family. It’s part of the job description. Good night.
Uma: night
(Uma teleports out of the library and back to her room)
Uma: sleep. Change. Confessions. If only it was that easy.
(She goes over to her ruined vanity mirror and sits down. This is when “loyal brave and true” happens. After the song. The next morning. The king and his major-domo are in session. And Uma’s not yet turned up for work)
Ben: is it all there?
Doug: yes your highness.
Ben: could you read it? Please?
Doug: ahem. Arendelle pledges her troops. Auroria pledges her troops. Cinderellasburg pledges her troops. Maldonia pledges her troops. Atlantis pledges her troops. Atlantica pledges her troops. Nottingham pledges her troops. China pledges her troops. France pledges her troops. Kumandra pledges her troops. Motunui pledges her troops. That’s everyone
Ben: no Greece? Hell. Just Olympus would do.
Doug: no. I’m sorry.
Ben: fucking hell. Ah well. No use crying over it. No when we’ve only got one day left. Is everything else ready for it?
Doug: yes
Ben: armoury?
Doug: yes
Ben: armada?
Doug: yes
Ben: hades?
Doug: no fucking clue. He’s pissed off to parts unknown. I don’t know how to tell Evie.
Ben: she wouldn’t care. Mal on the other hand.
Doug: right. By the way. Where’s Uma.
Ben: poor things had a rough night. I decided to let her sleep in. I thought it kind under the circumstances
Doug: of course. I expect you’ll be addressing the nation soon?
Ben: in about an hour.
(Uma suddenly teleports into the office)
Uma: sorry I’m late. What’d I miss?
Ben: it’s okay, it’s okay. I decided not to disturb you. Nice threads.
Uma: oh. Thank you. On both counts. Doug? What do you think? Is the hat too much?
Doug (going over speech notes and not even bothering to look at her): I’m not the one wearing them am I? So what does it matter what I think?
Uma: ah. Kay. Um
Ben: I’ll be making a speech soon. You’re welcome to stay but I suggest you get some sleep. They’ll be here tomorrow
Uma: righto. Um....I think I’ll go to the Lost Revenge replica. Get myself reacquainted as it were.
Ben: sounds like a plan.
(Uma walks out the door. Takes a shuddering breath, holding back tears. And teleports to the docks)
Ben: you could’ve been nicer to her
Doug: I will when I’ve forgiven her. But I haven’t yet. So I’m not. Do you need me right now? Only cause I was going to spend today with Evie. I’ve already asked Doug to take my place in training the recruits. So all my bases are covered.
Ben: sure. You’ve earned it. I’m gonna be spending the day with Mal myself
Doug: thank you.
(He leaves the room. Forty minutes later. In the cathedral. Verna’s watching Ben on the tv in the chaplains office)
Ben:....I urge you all not to worry. We shall defend Auradon. We will push them back. We will defeat them. We will win. And when we win....
(Verna turns off the volume and stares at the tv as Ben continues his speech)
Verna: you don’t need to worry. You’re not the one who commuted the crime. You’re not the one they’ll be looking for. You’re not the one in danger. So no, Benjamin. You don’t need to worry. I on the other hand. Have every reason to worry. And I have nobody to blame but myself.
(After Ben’s speech. He and Mal are at the lake again)
Mal: you know. We’ve been here about four times in the last three months right?
Ben: yeah. So what? This is our special place isn’t it?
Mal (chuckling): hm. Yeah. Yeah, it is
Ben (heading into the water, taking his clothes off along the way): care to join me?
Mal (already following suit): do you even need to ask?
(In devie’s suite, they’re watching a news report on Ben’s speech)
Evie: he can be very articulate when the situation calls for it
Doug (nonplussed): he’s always articulate?
Evie: because every situation calls for it. It was a joke
Doug: oh. Not one of your best.
Evie: well I shall endeavour to try better if there’s a next time
Doug: when, Evie. Not if. When.
Evie: I’m only trying to be realistic
Doug: well please don’t. This isn’t not the time for pessimism or realism. Let’s just. Stay here. For now. Please?
Evie: okay. For now.
(In jaylos’s suite. Carlos is staring glumly at Dude’s empty doggie bed)
Jay: it’s only for a little while.
Carlos: I know, I know. I just didn’t expect to get empty nest syndrome at sixteen.
(Jay snorts and starts laughing)
Carlos: it’s not funny Jay
Jay (still laughing): it’s a little funny
Carlos: hey. No. I’m trying to be serious here
Jay (forcing himself to regain his composure): right right. Sorry
Carlos: how’re we gonna do it?
Jay: do what?
Carlos: fight
Jay: oh. Hm. I fight. And you run like hell to safety
Carlos: nah ah. Not happening. I’m not leaving your side for one damn minute. We fight together or not at all
Jay: you won’t be happy until we’re sharing a vein will you?
Carlos: oh please. Like you’d have it any other way
Jay: yeah. When you’re right you’re right.
(In the R.O.A.R arena Gil and Lonnie are about to gather the recruits)
Gil: final practice. How’re ya feeling?
Lonnie: as best as can be expected under the circumstances.
Gil: I know. But we’ll get through it. We’re on Mal’s side. She always wins.
Lonnie: there have been incredibly close calls though.
Gil: yeah I know. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try though right?
Lonnie (slowly smiling): yeah. We should always try
(On the replica of the Lost Revenge. Nedahk Thatch has located Uma at the shops wheel)
Ned: the prince royal has asked me to inform that there’ll be a delay in the collection of the prisoners
Uma: heh?
Ned: oh. Sorry. Gil asked me to tell you it’ll be a while before he brings the Hook’s to the docks.
Uma: ahhhh.
Ned: I like you’re new look.
Uma (smiling in spite of herself): thanks. At least somebody thinks so.
Ned: what happened?
Uma: nah. It’s ah. It nothing.
Ned: did someone say something that upset you?
Uma: no. Ben was nice. As always. But Doug....
Ned: didn’t look twice?
Uma: didn’t look once. And I have no one to blame but myself.
Ned: he’s mad. He’ll forgive you eventually
Uma: yeah I know. I just hate what I did. Cause before I did it. At least he pretended to get along with me.
Ned: it’ll get better. It always does
(At the depot. Anastasia knocks on the window of one of the limos and Anthony screens it down)
Anastasia: how long have you been here?
Anthony: two nights. My entire lower half fell asleep. Twice.
Anastasia: it’s okay if you can’t decide
Anthony: no it’s not. I have to decide. There’s less than a day left. I have to choose. But I don’t know how
(On the isle. Audreficent has woken up Adam)
Audreficent: here is how it will be. We will launch the assault. I will take care of my daughter. You will do away with your son and all those who try to protect him. Do I make myself clear your highness?
Adam: crystal clear. My queen.
Audreficent: good. Now. You have the rest of the day to pick out the weapons of your choosing. And once it begins. Go after your son and your son alone. Do not get in my way with your well intentioned but highly unneeded assistance. Do you understand? Or do I have to sear it into your brain?
Adam: no your highness. I understand perfectly
Audreficent: good. Now. Listen well. All of you. There will be no mercy. There will be no misguided parental affection. They get in your way. You kill them. Before they kill you. And together. With your help. I will take over Auradon. Once and for all. WHO. IS. WITH ME!!!!
(All the villains cheer. The screen goes black. And lightens up on Verna. This is when “one day more” happens. After the song. The next morning. Gil’s standing in front of the lost revenge with the Hook’s bound in chains next to him. Gil blows a whistle)
Gil: permission to come aboard captain?
Uma: granted. Hey Mr Smee
Smee: ‘ello cap’n. Shall I make sure everything’s ship-shape and Bristol fashion?
Uma: yes, we’ve got some time. Last minute checks couldn’t hurt.
Harriet: what’re you gonna do with us, O Great and Powerful Traitor(?)
Gil: when Carlos gives the signal I’ll put us all on our respective vessels. Then when your folks cross the bridge. It’ll begin.
Cj (not listening to a single word that Gil has said): you ever wonder what it’s like?
Harriet (confused): what?
Cj: “the mysterious fathoms below”
Uma: I’ve been there. It’s dark. Cold. Unforgiving. A bit like my mother really. Not even merpeople would survive it.
Cj: oh really?
Uma: yeah. Really. It’s waterlogged hell Calista. No light. No heat. Inhabited by creatures so horrifying Tartarus itself spit them back out.
Cj: wow
Uma: yeah. Wow. Tch. Humans. Ya think you know everything
Gil (smugly): not so bright now are you cousin?
Cj (resoundingly pissed off): shut up
(At the palace, the rest of Ben’s inner circle are in the entranceway)
Ben: alright Carlos. Now
Carlos: 🎶oh Mr Chernabog. It’s time. The prince of Auradon requires your help🎶
(Immediately, the ground rumbles and out shoots Chernabog from behind the palace. He stops in front of Carlos and floats in midair)
Carlos: I need you to gather your brethren. Then wait for my orders. But until I need you. Fly around. Stretch your wings. You deserve it
(Chernabog bows to Carlos and flies off, roaring to his kind as he goes)
Carlos: I like being a demon
Mal: I’m gonna go get dad. I haven’t seen him in a while. I hope he’s feeling alright.
Evie: who cares?
Mal: uh. Moi. For starters. And our brother and our oldest sibling. You know. The Family?
Evie: whatever.
Ben: Antoine, come with me. I need your help with a spell.
(At the gates)
Facillier: you’re not going to tell her? Are you?
Ben: I can’t. I can’t hurt her like that
Facillier: don’t confuse the truth with hurting someone your highness. Have you ever heard of the phrase “cruel to be kind”?
Ben: I was raised by a man who had this as his mantra. I know what it means
Facillier: then you know that sometimes the bandaid has to be pulled off so the wound can heal properly.
Ben: I told you. I can’t. I cannot be the one who tells her that her father has abandoned again. It cannot be me.
Facillier: then I’ll do it. She’s terrified of me. So she’s less likely to attack me.
Ben: thank you.
Facillier: don’t worry about it. Sometimes a scapegoat is necessary. Now. What spell would you like my help with?
(Ben’s eyes glow royal blue and he raises numerous statues of gargoyles and monstrous knights out of the ground)
Ben: bring them to life.
Facillier: briser la pierre/aider le roi/l'aider maintenant/car nous ne savons pas/ce que le destin peut apporter
(Each statue steps down from stand and marches towards the gates)
Ben: AURADON IS THREATENED! PROTECT US! DO YOUR DUTY TO OUR KINGDOM!
(The statues pass the gates)
Ben: I love magic.
(Several massive tentacles erupt from the island sending the surrounding areas shaking in their wake)
Ben: alright then. Here we go.
(He turns on his heel and heads back to the palace, shouting orders at everyone as he goes. On the island. Audreficent’s standing in front of a crowd of the villains)
Adam: what now my queen?
Audreficent: what we always do my king. Keep moving forward.
(They all start walking towards the bridge. Back on the Lost Revenge. Uma’s freaking out and Gil’s trying to calm her. Which isn’t helped at all by the fact that the Hook sisters keep running their mouths)
Uma: I can’t. I can’t do it. I need to get off this ship. I need out. Let me go. LET ME GET OFF THIS SHIP!!!! PLEASE!!!! I NEED TO GO!!! PLEASE!!!! I NEED TO!!!! PLEASE!!!!
(Harriet’s cackling her head off like a deranged vulture)
Cj: I mean look at her. She cannae lead us anymore than she can lead herself. She’s pathetic. We’ve outgrown her. I say Harriet’s in charge. WHO’S WITH ME?!?!
(Harry’s remaining oddly silent. And he looks vaguely seasick. Gil eventually snaps and takes charge)
Gil: you will all listen to me. LISTEN!!!!
(He hops onto the side of the ship)
Gil: I. Am. Ashamed of you. All. Of you. Except you Mr Smee. You just got here. But you four. You’re PIRATES. You’ve been wanting a battle your entire. Damn. Lives. Well. This is it. And I know it’s scary, Uma. Especially given what happened to Morgana. But you need to do this. If not for you then for us. And I know you three hate me. But guess what? I don’t give a fuck what you think anymore. And I haven’t in a long long time. So take your heads out of your asses. And do whatever the hell I say. Or I’ll hand you over to Doug. Got that?
(All four nod profusely)
Gil: good. And besides.
(He hops down from the side of the ship)
Gil: it’s not like you’re not ready for it. Especially you Uma. You’ve been planning for this your entire life.
(This is when “warriors” happens)
the-maidofmischief
